How Do I Socialize My Timid Kitten? Read Her Story! Is It Too Late?
Two days ago, my girlfriend and I adopted a kitten from a shelter. When we first saw her, we could tell she was very timid and scared, but we felt a connection with her and decided to bring her home. We really want to give this cat a chance at a happy and well-adjusted life, and it would be a gift to have this kind of companion. But…
The best guess is that she’s around 12-14 weeks old, and was brought into the shelter with 3 other littermates – apparently they were found in a city parking lot. All 3 littermates were adopted, and she was the last one left. She’s had all her tests, first round of shots and worm treatment. She was sneezing constantly and we have been giving her antibiotics. The sneezing is getting better.
So before I get into my questions, let me take you through her first 3 days with us:
Day 1: Brought her home from the adoption event, fed her properly with canned food and formula. Her eating habits are very good – she polishes off anything we give to her, so we’ve been sticking to a high quality canned food. She spent some time in a large pet carrier we got for her to get used to the smells and sights. We took her out for around two hours and she calmed down when we started petting her. She is calm and comfortable when we pet her and she starts closing her eyes and falling asleep. She spent her first night in our bedroom, in the carrier, and my girlfriend got up in the middle of the night and in the morning to feed her. Anytime we approached her with a hand to pet her or pick her up, she cowered, but did not hiss or swat.
Day 2: My girlfriend spent the day with her and saw more of her behavior. She continued to sneeze, but ate well throught the morning and afternoon and we mixed her meds in so she wouldn’t notice. She spent most of the day in the corner on our sofa sleeping, with my girlfriend studying next to her. She was not comfortable enough to relax and be held and would get up and walk back to the corner when my girlfriend tried to hold her with a blanket. She did not approach, and was not curious, not looking around much.
We tried getting her to play by dragging a string away from her, but she started squinting really heavily while trying to concentrate on the string and would not chase it. Also, and this is strange, *she begins to salivate heavily when she sees the string moving*. She continued to cower when she saw a hand and when someone walked by.
She tried exploring the living room a little, but ended up under the sofa looking out. When it was much later in the day, around 11, she finally let my girlfriend hold her and was even purring. At night, I took her to bed alone, and she slept the whole night next to me on our bed. When she heard a noise, she would rouse and look around, but calmed back down quickly. No issues there.
We decided to keep her in a smaller space for the day – the bedroom, and close off all places she can hide under. She’s got her carrier and litter in there now. TV is on for voice comfort.
Day 3 (this morning): Ate well, same as before, but was not comfortable in her surroundings and sat in the carrier, despite being very relaxed on the bed all night. I can tell shes trusting me a little more, but she still cowers when i walk by or pick her up to move her. Sometimes it seems like one step forward and two steps back. She responds to my voice positively. Planning to return from work around noon to check on her.
So, now that you have the info on her, here’s what my girlfriend and I are really wondering/worrying about:
1) She won’t play yet, no reaction to string or other small toys. When we try, she squints constantly while observing and starts salivating heavily (the drops fall to her feet).
2)Seems too scared to explore, and continues to cower when we reach to pet her, despite being comfortable when we pick her up and hold her.
3)She hasn’t displayed that natural kitten mischief and curiosity, probably because she is stressed/scared. Right?
4)She seems to be scared all the time, and is only comfortable when she’s falling asleep/sleeping. Noise wakes her quickly.
That’s the general picture. We really want to socialize her properly and get her to lose this fear she has. I read somewhere that kittens receive that fear imprint in the first few weeks of their lives, and this stays with them forever, generally. Is this true?
How do we reverse what she’s been through and move forward to a happy, curious, friendly cat?
13 Comments to “How Do I Socialize My Timid Kitten? Read Her Story! Is It Too Late?”
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By RAR, February 8, 2010 @ 5:18 am
She’s going to be just fine.
Thank you for saving her life.
I have rehabilitated/socilized even adult feral cats that absolutely hated me when our paths first crossed. They need time and patience, as well as general acceptance.
Part of the patience is letting her find her own way and explore the new territory. She will locate what I call “safe spots” where she may retreat from time to time. Each of my cats has a different safe spot in the home.
Try different toys to see what sparks her attention. Little fake mice, wand toys, anything interactive. Here’s a good site: http://www.cattoys.com/intoy.html. You and your girlfriend play with her as much as possible. This helps with bonding. My most recent rescue kitten was sick when I found her and totally disinterested in toys. This furry feather wand thing worked wonders: http://www.cattoys.com/swizzlebird.html. I would stick it in my back pocket and wonder around the house with it while she chased it.
Another great bonding tool, as advised by my vet, is petting her while she is eating. Make sure that she sees you putting the food down, looks up to you, etc. Place the food in front of her, and gently stroke her while she eats. Not so much or so long that you annoy her, but you get it. The playing, the petting, the feeding will all allow her to associate you with GOOD things, positive things. She will trust you soon.
The fact that she is sitting next to your girlfriend, sleeping next to you (awww!), purring, etc. are all good things. She is still adjusting, and it takes a bit. Best wishes to all of you for a long and sweet life together!
Here are some more tips: http://www.cat-alog.com/article_timid%20…
By chantelle l, February 8, 2010 @ 10:26 am
She just needs more time to adjust. Dont worry she will work out fine
By Lula Mae, February 8, 2010 @ 4:36 pm
This is like I wrote it myself. We had the exact problem with our new kitty. When we brought him home, he wouldn’t respond to anything, and seemed unsteady on his feet. We’d move toys around in front of his face and he wouldn’t even look at them properly!
We took him to the vet, who thought he had a liver or brain problem. After a blood test, it was found he didn’t have what the vet first thought, so we brought him back home trying not to worry. It took him about a week or 2, but he was soon jumping around everywhere, as mad and curious as a kitten should be.
It sounds like your kitty had a bad start in life. Give her a little time, i’m sure she will come out of her shell soon
By foxylady, February 8, 2010 @ 7:01 pm
well first of all didn’t you say they was found in a parking lot, so my guess is she just isn’t used to being inside much except for the cage at the shelter. She has been threw alot and you should just give her the time to make the adjustments. This is a whole new world to her and she is scared. just keep up with the toys and i am sure she will come around when she is ready she will start exploring when she feels safe Good luck with your kitty and just give it sometime
By Darcie, February 9, 2010 @ 12:48 am
my Grandma works at the local sawmill and there’s about a dozen stray kittens living there. She brought one home and it took her about a week to get used to the house and to start playing with toys. She’s still kinda nervous when people approach her quickly though. Just give it time, the kitten has probably been through a lot and isn’t at the point where she trusts people yet.
By The Answer, February 9, 2010 @ 1:53 am
You have only had her for a few days! You need to wait for her to ajust to the surroundings, before you label her timid. I recommend feeding her in a different room everyday, as she wont want to miss out on her dinner, so she will just eat it where ever she is. Have you got a special word she understands? When I trained my cat, I use to say Din Dins, whenever she was going to eat her dinner. Keep saying the word when feeding her, and they pick up the word. Give her lots of treats, and I recommend feeding her wet food and a bit of dry food. Go Cat, kitten food is a real treat. It has milk chunks and everything!
In addition to this, give her special milk for kittens, NOT YOUR AVERAGE KITTEN MILK THOUGH! Give her 2 more weeks, before you decide what sort of cat she is, and keep giving her lots of love and effection. To get her playing, hang a peice of ham above her head, after letting her sniff it, and she will probably jump for it.
This websites explain it allhttp://www.caring-for-your-cat.co.uk/tim…http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=7-PDw…
By cat lover, February 9, 2010 @ 5:08 am
Three days is not a lot of time. One thing I would try and do is to find out if she has a vision problem. Does she follow your finger with her head as you move it in front of her? That she seemed to cower when someone walked by doesn’t mean she saw that person clearly.
As far as #4, some have a hair trigger response to any noise.
For your second issue about her cowering, approach her down low, either by sitting or crawling, so you are less imposing. Compared to her, you are absolutely massive. And sitting down and simply talking often works well. Using a bit of a high pitched voice may help, as a mother cat’s meow is not soft or low pitched.
You reverse a lot of her fears through patience, love and understanding. Some of her progress will have to be at her pace.
By adrianna, February 9, 2010 @ 9:32 am
She just needs time. The sneezing, saliva, and runny nose can also just be from stress. She needs to be comfortable with her surroundings before she can play. Keep trying the toys with her, but start with just wiggling your fingers first. It’s very possible she was abused and or mistreated by humans or other animals. Call the shelter and ask how her litter mates are doing and if they are exhibiting the same issues. Handle her often and gently it may take awhile for her to calm down. I have noticed with rescued kittens it is usually under a week when they really explore and begin to play. GL
By ♥Pretty♥ ♥Kitty♥, February 9, 2010 @ 12:45 pm
She’s only been there for two days. That isn’t enough time for her to build any trust. Big strange houses can overwhelm a kitten. Being kept in a smaller space will be much less stressful for her till she gets to know you and realizes she is home. Try setting up a nursery for her in a small room. Go in to visit her frequently but don’t grab for her or hold her if she wants down. Just sit quietly and let her come to you. Doing something interesting like tying your shoes or digging in a shoebox with some junk in it will entice her. As she gets more comfortable, allow larger areas to explore. Let her walk there instead of carrying her so learns the “lay of the land”. She should warm up to you in a few days or even a couple of weeks.
The wand type toys are great for shy cats as they allow the cat to play while still maintaining some distance from you. Try those. Also, if you can afford vet care for two, kittens do much better in pairs.http://www.pawschicago.org/PetCare/catsi…
By missmojo, February 9, 2010 @ 3:32 pm
From what you are describing it sounds completely normal. My guess is that she probably isn’t used to her surrounding yet. With her being so young she probably has not developed the eye sight she needs to focus on an object to play with. I have had cats all my life and my cat Patsy took two weeks before she would even come out from under the bed! A lot of the adjustment period comes from what their circumstances were before. Patsy was found in a dumpster and was too small to get out, her two litter mates that were with her were already dead. I am guessing that her interactions with humans had only beennegativee until she came to our house. It’s well worth the time and effort to do all that you are doing. She will get used to her surrounding and the two of you before you know it. Once she realizes that she is safe with the two of you, you willdefinitelyy start seeing her littler personality develop. She will be driving you guys crazy with her mmischiefin no time. Good luck! : )
By Ana, February 9, 2010 @ 10:23 pm
Thank you all for the great advice!
The only thing that is bothering me is that we tried playing with her with all kinds of different toys. We have two feather wands, a mouse, bow on a string, and other stuff. And she still has the same reaction, she starts drooling and does not look so happy… I know some cats start drooling when they are very happy or when they smell something they really don’t like, but this seems like a completely different thing.
Why do you think she does that?
Thank you
By daa, February 10, 2010 @ 12:09 am
It sounds like you just need to give her some time and be patient with her. You’ve only had her 2 days! Let her get more comfortable with you before you try to pet her or pick her up. Sit on the floor near her, talk to her, wiggle a string or toy, and just let her explore and play if/when she’s ready. Limiting her area for a few days or so will help too – to much new space to explore all at once can be overwhelming for some kittens.
By bridey, February 10, 2010 @ 4:58 am
give her time, its only been a few days and she isn’t feeling well.
She cowers when you walk by, but remember she was found in a parking lot and probably was terrified there. Who knows what happened?
It sounds like you have plenty of patience, she will come around in time and more so when she feels better. How about some smal toy mice she might like to bat around or a wand toy with feathers on it?
She has had many changes in the past few weeks and is adjusting